An Ode to the Monsoon:
Oh, monsoon, thou art a double-edged sword,
A blessing and a curse, in perfect accord.
With rains that drench and puddles that splosh,
We navigate chaos with a soggy squish and squash.
The sky, a vast grey blanket of wet,
Turns our once-pristine streets into a watery threat.
Our umbrellas turn to wind-caught sails,
As we dodge the rivers that once were mere trails.
The monsoon season in India is nothing short of a grand spectacle, akin to an elaborate stage production where the star of the show is an unrelenting downpour, supported by sprawling puddles, chaotic traffic jams, and a parade of soggy pedestrians. It’s that time of year when Mother Nature hosts a lavish, watery festival, and whether we’re willing participants or not, we’re all thrust into the spotlight. From June to September, the South-West monsoons sweep in, creating scenes bustling with life and activity.
As much as Bollywood films have romanticised the monsoon—from the classic “Rimjhim Gire Saavan” to “Barso Re Megha”—they conveniently overlook the soggy reality and its aftermath. It’s high time for a reality check!
The Muddy Dilemma
Let’s start with the puddles. These are like uninvited guests at a party, spreading out, claiming territory, and daring you to navigate around them. The phrase “still waters run deep” could very well be the monsoon’s motto. You may think you’ve found a dry path, only to discover that the puddle you tried to avoid is just the tip of the iceberg; there’s a mini-lake lurking inches away. And let’s not even get started on the splash zone. When a car zooms by, tyres spinning like a washing machine on overdrive, you—the hapless pedestrian—become the unwitting star of a water ballet, drenched in a delightful cocktail of rainwater and exhaust fumes.
Mosquito Menace
These tiny, blood-sucking vampires are the ultimate opportunists, transforming every puddle into a breeding ground and every exposed ankle into a feast. It’s as though they’re hosting their own exclusive soirée, with you as the guest of honour—left covered with itchy bites and suffering from sleepless nights. And let’s not forget the hospitals, which seem to thrive on our collective misfortune.
Next up, the gastrointestinal woes. The monsoon, with impeccable timing, ushers in the season for annual epidemics. Parents scramble to blame the school for everything, from rain-soaked playgrounds to questionable cafeteria food, while the monsoon conveniently evades the spotlight. It’s a masterful diversion—why worry about soggy sandwiches and half-eaten fruit when the school can be the scapegoat? The school bears the brunt of the blame, while the monsoon has the last laugh!
Children, bless their hearts, miss out on the simple joy of splashing in the rain. Instead, they’re cooped up indoors singing “Rain, Rain, Go Away,” their dreams of puddle-jumping and spontaneous rain dances dashed. Their outdoor playtime is replaced with cramped classrooms and the occasional, seemingly endless, soggy field trip.
Traffic Snarls
Let’s not forget the traffic jams. Driving in the monsoon feels like a game of Twister. Instead of twisting your body, you’re dodging lakes, navigating rivers of slow traffic, and avoiding potholes the size of ponds. Flying might seem like a simpler option, but with packed airports and weather delays, you’ll end up spending just as much time getting nowhere. We wade through puddles, dodge splashes, and savour our bhajis and pakoras, all while cursing and laughing at the state of our traffic. The monsoon brings us together, not just under the same roof but in the same puddle-soaked shoes. In the grand scheme of things, the monsoon in India is a blend of chaos, humour, and resilience.
Are Marriages Made in Heaven?
The monsoon turns these joyous occasions into chaotic scenes, with the rain playing the villain. Families offer desperate prayers for the rain to cease so newlyweds can enjoy their first days together rather than face their first trial. Before long, they’re stuck in traffic, leading to conversations that might veer into debates about their future rather than celebrating their union.
Holiday!!
In Mumbai, Kerala, and other coastal regions, it’s an unexpected holiday season for children and office-goers alike. The monsoon turns working days into surprise holidays—a boon for children, but not so much for parents. Work and academics take a hit, and it wouldn’t be surprising if Ganesh idols find themselves more frequently immersed in puddles than in rivers.
When Umbrellas Fly and Raincoats Run!
As for fashion, the monsoon’s greatest contributions are umbrellas and raincoats. Despite your best efforts, the monsoon still manages to turn umbrellas into flying saucers and pedestrians into rain-drenched runners, chasing after wayward umbrellas.
The monsoon also takes its toll in less humorous ways, with landslides, floods, and disease serving as grim reminders of its power. And yet, we carry on, undeterred.
So here’s to the monsoon: May your rains be a generous embrace, your puddles mere footnotes in a seasonal story, and your mosquitoes rare whispers of a forgotten annoyance. May our patience be as steady as the constant drizzle, our empathy flow as smoothly as a river’s current, and our joy be found in the simplest moments, like savouring hot bhajis or pakoras. Here’s to navigating this watery whirlwind with a grin, a splash, and the occasional hum of “Rain, Rain, Go Away.” Here’s to finding happiness in life’s ordinary moments and gracefully leaping over every puddle that comes our way.
